Soooooooooo......you've been lurking about the various gambling
forums, and you think you're ready to do a bit of posting, eh? Ready to mix
and mingle with the big boys and girls. Ready to have your say, make your
point, dazzle all with your insights and wit.
Oh no, you're not.
Not only are you NOT ready, you're not even CLOSE.
In fact, I'm telling you now, as your friend....DON'T DO IT!
Don't even THINK about it! Step away from the keyboard. Go get a smoothie.
Turn on a rerun of Buffy. Have sex. Do ANYTHING else.......but for the
love of gawd DON'T POST!
Not, at least, until you've checked out these simple little rules
for first-time posters.
1) Never, ever, make your first post an unabashed love letter to
a casino. This is especially true of the bigger, more high profile
gambling forums.....Winneronline, Casinomeister, and the like. If your first
post goes something like this...."I just finished playing at XYZ Casino, and
they're the greatest! Wonderful customer service! I made $20,000 from
a $5 deposit! They sent me champagne! They sent me a hooker! I am not a
shill! Here's the link! www.xyz.affiliatecode/imaputz.com!"
Can you see the errors in this post? First of all, there are
the exclamation points. Unnecessary and annoying. Second, the lying.
EVEN if the affiliate link isn't there, such a post,
especially for a first-timer, will mark you as a shill. As well it should. The
regulars at said forum will cut you into little tiny shreds fit to be fed to
rabid jackals. As they should. You will never, but never ever, be taken
seriously at any forum with such a first post.
Always remember....spam is a dish best served when nobody's
looking.
2) Never make your first post a complaint about a casino that is
prominently advertised in the forum where you wish to post. If you are
having a dispute with that casino, of course your first action should
be to try to work it out with the casino itself. If that fails, a private
message to the owner and/or moderator of the board asking for help is perfectly
acceptable. If nothing helps, and the casino and the forum owner are
obviously screwing you over big and bad, well then I say....post your
little heart out! If only for my amusement. I love a good floor show.
3) Never make your first post an uninformed post when it comes to
a feud. There's always a fight going on, whether in-house, or between
boards.
This is especially prevalent in the EZBoard gambling forums....but
believe me, the big boards aren't above such things themselves.
Say Board A is having a major knock-down with Board B. A is
accusing B of something skanky, and B is retaliating with threats, then
A starts posting personal information about members of B, then B starts
sending pizzas to A, and A throws a rock, then B steals A's dog, and on
and on and on ad nauseum...........
You don't know A, you've never met B, but you think you've
been lurking about enough to understand what's happening. So you
post......"B is a lowlife piece of guttertrash, and I hope she rots in hell!" But what
you don't know is there's a "C" who's been hiding in the bushes and
actually started it all, and C is going to copy your post, and later, when you
least expect it....BAM! And in the end Board A and Board B have banned you,
leaving you with no friends, a hundred pizzas, and a two-legged dog.
Just stay neutral. It's easier, and less messy.
4) Here is what should be your first post in any gambling
forum...."Hi. I'm new. You have a great forum here." That's it.
Short, sweet, and completely void of anything that can get you laughed at.
This leaves you completely free to make your second post........."The casinos you advertise are all crooks! But XYZ Casino is
great! Join through my link! Everybody who likes you is a skank!"
My work here is done.........
